It wasn't so steep that it was unsafe, and we had staff leading in front and in the rear to keep track of stragglers. With a good brisk hike we'd be there on top in an hour.

 Our usual procedure was to pray together in a circle and then break for more private individual prayer afterwards, as we would all find a rock or a tree to befriend, all the while peeking out to the horizon at the looming sunrise.

 This one morning after having come this far, I started to pray, and it just felt rote and formal, like I was just spouting words into the air. I've had meaningful prayers before and in this situation I was hoping, like everyone else, for a kind of "skin-touch" encounter with God that one dreams about.

 But the more I prayed, the more anxious I became and I was beginning to worry that it was all a waste of time. Then a question popped into my mind, as if to unlock the roots of my problem.

 "Why are you here?"

 I knew the answer. It was obvious.

 All of our efforts at teaching and in caring for our guests was for them to have the time of their lives. Some of whom may have never uttered a prayer in their lives.

 So I said to God,, "For them!"  

 So then I started thinking of these friends I'd come to know over the last few weeks, and I prayed for them, calling out their names - one by one - looking at them scattered over the mountain, on rocks, and under trees, pouring out their hearts.

 Then I asked God to go to them instead -- "forget about me!",, "they need you more". Touch their hearts and inspire them with your love. I repented for my selfish mind.

 Then slowly,, but surely, like a turtle righting itself after being pushed onto it's back, the bottom of my heart opened, and deepened and I could feel God coming closer to me. And it seemed that God came into me that way, when I was trying to send Him away to the others.

 As the sun rose, and I looked out over the countryside, I promised to God that I'd never forget this lesson, and that the deepest part of my heart would always be reserved for Him and His love for mankind. And that I'd do my best to let Him use me as He sees fit. I understood that God is never divorced from His children, all of them.

 I understood more deeply that day that God is a parent who is constantly thinking and feeling for others, His children. And if we want to be with God and experience God, we have to be more like Him. The more that we can direct our lives in that way, unselfishly, we'll discover that even God is inspired and attracted to that kind of heart and soul in us.

 Arcana